What does it take to be a leader?

I'm feeling extremely emo now. Been working real hard at something and it's like the Gods above are playing a puppet show on me, changing the next episode, giving it a completely new twist to the story. Perhaps, it would be a better show for the rest in heaven to watch, but well, do you know what a toll it is taking on me?

Le sigh.

I dont know why I worked so hard on this... project that I wish to undertake. Not only I'm not paid, I have to fork out me own petrol mileage, my time, my effort, my valuable me-time. I sacrificed sacrificed sacrificed.. despite it being a peak period this month & what do I get?

Nothing, according to the Gods.

Things took a change and it seems like all my effort is now.. well, there's 1 phrase which I find very apt for this situation.

Lembu punya susu, sapi dapat nama.

I wont say it was entirely my susu. There were many people working in the background just that nobody knew, but still, I was involved! But it seems like I have to let go now. Not only I have to let go what was suppose to be mine. I have to pull through & perhaps work the paperwork for the benefit of other people.

Damn, the more I dissect this matter, the more stupid I feel.

Sigh.

But den again, what can I take away from this? Well, at least, I learnt the entire processs. I know what I should do with the payment (yeah! I actually did math!), I'm more familiar with the paperwork, I understand it much much better.

& for that I'm proud *pats self on the back*

In this case, I think, what does it take to be a leader? Well, someone whom is the first who steps out of the helicopter into the warlands & the last to hop back into the helicopter. A leader has to sacrifice. Limbs or life.

& in this instance, I'm learning it the hard way.